Love is an Upward Spiral

According to author Barbara Fredrickson love is neither lasting nor unconditional. She says “The radical shift we need to make is this: Love, as your body experiences it, is a micro-moment of connection shared with another”. As a positivity psychologist studying love she has learned some surprising things. Small moments of emotional connection with others, family, acquaintances, strangers, can lead to disproportionately large biological changes that enhance body health and increase our capacity to love.

moments of love lift us higher (Singapore dawn)

“Evidence suggests that when you really “click” with someone else, a discernible yet momentary synchrony emerges between the two of you, as your gestures and biochemistries, even your respective neural firings, come to mirror one another in a pattern I call positivity resonance. Love is a biological wave of good feeling and mutual care that rolls through two or more brains and bodies at once.” Barbara explains that making eye contact is the gateway to connection, so look into one another’s eyes people! As people in her studies learnt to make more micro moments of love in their lives the function of the vagus nerve (connecting heart and brain) improved significantly.

connecting with a helicopter

It is an upward spiral. Learn to increase these micro-moments of connection and love with others, you become healthier, and being healthier builds your capacity for love. Little by little, love begets love by improving your health. And health begets health by improving your capacity for love.

connecting on bollards, St Sulpice Paris

Love doesn’t require that you ignore or suppress negativity. It simply requires that some element of kindness, empathy or appreciation be added to the mix. Compassion is the form love takes when suffering occurs. Barbara encourages us by saying “One of the most hopeful things I learned is that when people take just a minute or so each day to think about whether they felt connected and attuned to others, they initiate a cascade of benefits.”